First Day of Kindergarten!

 The day finally came. The day I've been dreading for so long and the day that Jackson has been so excited about...
The first day of Kindergarten.

Don't get me wrong, I love seeing my kids grow and learn, but the thought of him having to leave me to do this, really tugged on my heart. I have been preparing myself for this day for the past few weeks and telling myself that I would not cry in front of him. Jackson's heart is so big and caring, and to see someone hurt, in pain, or upset makes him upset as well, so I knew that I could not lose it in front of him. I did have a talk with him last week though, just in case, and told him that if he saw me crying when I took him to school the first day that it didn't mean I was sad or mad, it just meant I was really excited and proud of how big he is. That is when he looked at me and said, "Mommy, why would you take me to school? I'm going to ride the bus!" Baby steps, son... baby steps for mama.

Last night while trying to get the kids to bed early Jackson had a whole pile of books on his bed reading them. All three of his sisters had already fallen asleep and I knew he was beyond exhausted, so I laid down with him because I could tell he was a little nervous. I laid there in his little car bed and looked at how he is just about to long for it, listened to him read to me some Curious George books and Countdown to Kindergarten, and wondered how did the time go by that fast that he was starting kindergarten in the morning. My baby boy in kindergarten! Then of course the tears started falling again, but I did a good job of hiding them from him. He finally went to sleep around 11:00 (more than 2 hours from when we laid him down), and I was worried he would be so tired this morning. When I walked in his room I took a deep breath, and put on my best performance of being excited for school to start. He looked at me and his first words were "Mom, I'm a little shy about kindergarten." While telling myself, don't cry, I reminded him of how much fun he was going to have, how he was going to make some new friends, and how he was going to learn so much. He got dressed and then we sat and read the book The Kissing Hand together. If you've never read the book (I have a video of Jackson reading it at the end if you want to hear him read it) ;), the pictures have a heart on the palm of the raccoon's hand to show where his mom kissed him and to remind him that his mother's love goes with him wherever he goes, even to school, and then Chester gives a kissing hand to his mom, too. So, Jackson and I drew a heart on the palm of each others hand just like in the book.

We then took a few pics, and as you can tell, someone wasn't so excited about her big brother going to kindergarten and being gone all day long:

 

Quick picture with mom and dad before heading off to school:

Then we were headed off to school. Before we even got there Mamaw Di and Papaw Fred had both called to wish Jackson good luck (and I think to make sure I wasn't having a break down, yet!). When we were just about there Jackson said, "So you aren't going to get to stay with me today?" and thankfully Eric was with us in the car because there was no way I could have answered that one without crying. When we got there though, Jackson was soooo excited and basically running to get into the school.

We went to the gym with the other students and parents until it was time to go to class.

Once the teachers came and picked up their classes, we had to say our goodbyes. I told Jackson that we had to go now and that we loved him, and he turned around gave me a kiss and said "I love you" while giving his dad and sisters a good-bye wave. He turned and walked down the hallway and as I watched him round that curve with his Toy Story backpack on, my heart was breaking and bursting with pride all at the same time. I got to the car and the floodgates opened, but I had messages all throughout the day from my sweet family and friends that made me smile. Elsie asked me at least 20 times today, "Where's Jackson? Is Jackson upstairs?" Even she was missing her big brother.
When I went to pick him up this afternoon, Ansley ran straight to him and gave him a big hug, and the first thing he said was how thirsty he was. Good thing mom's are always one step ahead and I had him some juice in the car.

Ansley & Elsie were so excited to go pick-up Jackson!

Evidently kindergarten is exhausting for all the kids- this is how our van looked by the time we got home from school:

Jackson talked like he really loved his first day, and is excited about his new friends and class. He said his favorite part of the day was when he got to eat some Goldfish crackers and watch Curious George Goes Back to School, and he was also excited and told me and Eric that he got to read Tiptoe into Kindergarten while sitting in the rocking chair to the whole class. Let's hope he keeps this enthusiasm up for the rest of the year!

If you haven't read The Kissing Hand before, you can listen to Jackson read it. :)

(The last 2 pages of the book got cut off, but here they are:)

And here is a poem that describes exactly my thoughts this morning:

First Day of School

(Wendy Silva)

I wonder what you're doing right now
and if everyone is treating you kind.
I hope there is a special person,
a nice friend that you can find.

I wonder if the teacher know just
how special you are to me.
And if the brightness of your heart
is something she can see.

I wonder if you are thinking about
me and if you need a hug.
I already miss the sound of your voice
and how you give my leg a tug.

I wonder if you could possibly understand
how hard it is for me to let you grow.
On this day know that my heart breaks,
for this is the first step in letting my baby go.

My baby is growing up!